Monday, November 23

Trying new things

Wearing: Express faux fur coat, Doc Martens, Balenciaga Tote, lace vintage top

Some girls want to be ballerinas.  Some want to be housewifes.  Others want to be teachers.  I don't want to be anything.  Not that I don't have ambitions or desires to do things, but because I don't believe in planning what I do anymore.  I used to believe that I could plan everything out and have things go according to plan.  Years later, the more I plan something, the more it doesn't go according to plan.

My man used to say to me, "Chill. Relax.  You are always so high-strung." At first, I took offense to it, later... I learned to realize that my behavior affected his.  I used to work to live, but now, I live to work.  My actions may not have changed much since I made this 180 change in attitude, it was the way I viewed each thing I tackled in life.  I was happier, more fulfilled and less stressed.

Some people say change in human behavior is impossible.  Imagine, it took our society centuries to acknowledge the fallacy in race discrimination.  Yet, still... we still have this form of prejudice towards other issues on a micro level.  How can we expect to change the world when we haven't been able to control ourselves?  My mom once told me, "You can't change the way those girls look at you, but you can change the way you look at yourself."  Nothing is impossible.  who knew life could grow on a stab of concrete?  I saw it today, some leaves on a cement slab.  Sometimes, it takes that one organism to change everyone's mentality.

I never proclaimed to be anyone special, anyone different.  I just want to be someone who lives to the fullest.  To fulfill, to the best of my ability, my dreams, aspirations and hopes I have.  Never live to please someone, or to conform.  Remember, conformity is the ultimate betrayal to one's self.  I want to be a traveler and surrounded by people I love.  That's all.

I learn. I love.  I live.