I am doing that "before every pivotal-decision-making" pondering again. Except this time, I am unable to trust my heart, because it seems in that respect, that nothing ever runs my way. My dad taught me that if you wanted something bad enough, you would get it. For my issue, that rule doesn't apply. No matter how much I want it, how hard I strive for it or how much I risk to get it done, it constantly eludes me. It makes wanting it so damn hard.
So. I have been thinking for the past 5 hours what I am going to do. Maybe this time I will just settle for the weak decision.
